Bane Quotes

The Dark Knight Rises came out on DVD/Blu-ray this week. Bane's voice was one of the most talked about aspects of the film. I recently came up with some quotes that I would love to hear done in his style of voice.

"Macy’s is having a big one-day sale today, and I need some new loafers."

"Why did my spaghetti dinner only come with one meatball when I clearly asked for two?"

"Do you know where the Muffin Man lives? How about Cupcake Princess?"

"When is Arrested Development coming back on? I miss that show."

"Now bring me my large French perfume and spray him in the eyes because that’s how it happened to me. Now you feel pretty, don’t you?"

"Has anyone else noticed that my mask looks like a sideways Goatse?"

"It doesn’t matter who we are… what matters is our plan. No one cared who I was until I put on the… wait a second… are those Hot Pockets over there? Sweet."

"This American football sport is absurdly boring. Let’s breathe some life into it by blowing it up."

"My refrigerator is acting up again."

"You forgot to bring me my Frosty with my 5-piece chicken nuggets. Your punishment must be more severe."

"You wore screw-in cleats to a youth soccer game. Your punishment must be more severe."

"You started drinking dark beers before moving to light ones. Your punishment must be more severe."

"This 2-lane traffic circle is very confusing to navigate through."

"75 percent of all chocolate has gone through a monkey’s colon. The more you know."

"Does anyone know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast? It they’re done, we can always go to Jack in the Box."

"Have you seen a girl with hair like this?"

"I have chosen not to hug anyone for a full year, but seeing you here like this now, I might not be able to help myself."

"The tragedy of your existence is that you do not have muscles as big as me."

"I really liked you in The Wire. In Game of Thrones, you are kind of an a-hole."

"I played t-ball when I was a little boy. I didn’t enjoy it much because there was nothing big to destroy."